The Hon John Howard, PM
Prime Minister of Australia

"War is the only solution now."

The Hon John Anderson, MP
Deputy Prime Minister and
Minister for Transport and Regional Services

"Farmers like to fight - and I like farmers."

The Hon Peter Costello, MP
Treasurer

"I'll do as I'm told for the moment."

The Hon Mark Vaile, MP
Minister for Trade

"I'd eat my grandmother if I thought it would advance my career."

Senator the Hon Robert Hill
Minister for Defence
Leader of the Government in the Senate

"This portfolio is so much more fun than Environment."

Senator the Hon Richard Alston
Minister for Communications, Information Technology and the Arts

"What would I care?"

The Hon Alexander Downer, MP
Minister for Foreign Affairs

"As long as it ensures me a place in history."

(Don't worry Alexander - it will....it will)

The Hon Tony Abbott, MP
Minister for Employment and Workplace Relations

"What he said."

The Hon Philip Ruddock, MP
Minister for Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs

"Kill them all."

The Hon Dr David Kemp, MP
Minister for Environment and Heritage

"What he said."

The Hon Daryl Williams, AM QC MP
Attorney-General

"Whatever."

Senator the Hon Nicholas Minchin
Minister for Finance and Administration

"It adds up."

The Hon Warren Truss, MP
Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry

"Grunt."

Senator the Hon Amanda Vanstone
Minister for Family and Community Services

"What he said."

The Hon DR Brendan Nelson, MP
Minister for Education, Science and Training

"Whatever I'm told to say."

Senator the Hon Kay Patterson
Minister for Health and Ageing

"Ditto."

The Hon Ian Macfarlane, MP
Minister for Industry, Tourism and Resources

"The same goes for me."

Senator the Hon Christopher Ellison
Minister for Justice and Customs

"This is my good side."

Senator the Hon Ian Macdonald
Minister for Fisheries, Forestry and Conservation

"Can I go home now?"

Senator the Hon Rod Kemp
Minister for the Arts and Sport

"What Ruddock said."

The Hon Joe Hockey, MP
Minister for Small Business and Tourism

"It's my job to agree with the little man."

The Hon Peter McGauran, MP
Minister for Science

"It's like a really big and exciting experiment."

The Hon Wilson Tuckey, MP
Minister for Regional Services, Territories and Local Government

"Nuke 'em."

The Hon Larry Anthony, MP
Minister for Children and Youth Affairs

"I'll do as I'm told."

The Hon Mal Brough, MP
Minister for Employment Services

"War will occupy the indigent."

Senator the Hon Eric Abetz
Special Minister of State

"Go. Fight. Go"

The Hon Danna Vale, MP
Minister for Veterans' Affairs and
Minister assisting the Minister for Defence

"War isn't at all like pornography."

Senator the Hon Helen Coonan
Minister for Revenue and Assistant Treasurer

"This'll surely take the political heat out of my land tax scandal."

The Hon Kevin Andrews, MP
Minister for Ageing

"It's good ageing policy to cull the young at regular intervals."

The Hon Gary Hardgrave, MP
Minister for Citizenship and Multicultural Affairs

"Yes - my name really is Gary Hardgrave."